Metamucil + Locked Out of Your Apartment = Not Good

My husband, Steve, and I are heading up north to visit my brother- and sister-in-law and our nephew. In lieu of anything informational, I thought I'd re-post a highly entertaining post Steve wrote back in February of 2012. (It actually ranked one of our most popular posts!)

For our newer readers who don't know Steve, he was coached here from 2010-2014 until he went to go work on Concentric Brain (also owned by Sarah Walls, SAPT's founder and president). 

If you need a laugh today, and who doesn't on a Friday?, today's post will not disappoint!

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This past Wednesday was looking to be a particularly delightful morning for me. I was ahead of schedule with my SAPT-related tasks (something that occurs once in a blue moon), and, also, Wednesday holds my shortest workout of my weekly training schedule. As such, I had a bit of extra time at my disposal.

Given this, I thought it'd be a great opportunity to get a full night's rest, do the laundry (something really vexes me about having to do it during the weekend), write a few programs for the SAPT athletes, answer some emails, then top it off by heading to the local coffee shop to satisfy my palate with a delicious brew while writing my next article for an online publication. I'd then have plenty of time to get in my training session before the athletes showed up to SAPT for the afternoon appointments.

Sweet. It was going to be a solid morning.

I sleep in until 7:30am, and eventually head into the living room at 7:45, laundry basket in hand. However, upon entering the room, I immediately notice three things:

1) Sheik, our (indoor) cat, is nowhere to be seen. 2) The door to our apartment is ajar. 3) There's a faint meowing sound in the distance.

My wife left at 7:30 to handle the morning appointments at SAPT, so it was pretty clear what happened: The door didn't shut all the way, and Sheik, being a cat, wanted to see what lay out in the mysterious void beyond the apartment walls. She clearly became lost, and was now fearful and meowing like crazy.

My superhero instincts kick in.

Without thinking about anything else, I commando roll out of the apartment and dart down the stairwell to find poor Sheik huddled in a ball in the middle of the concrete floor looking around like a....well, like a frightened animal. I pick her up, comfort her and tell her that everything will be O.K., and head back up the stairs, thinking about how much I can't wait to tell my wife of how I saved the day by rescuing our precious little kitty.

That is, until I climb back up to the third story to find that our apartment door is locked.

Now, if the story stopped here, I wouldn't be wasting valuable cyberspace bandwidth to tell this story on the interwebz. After all, practically everyone has locked themselves out of their home at one point or another.

Not THAT big a deal, right?

Well, there are six additional details that make this situation particularly frustrating for me:

1. Remember how I told you that, "without thinking about anything else," I rolled out of our apartment to rescue our cat? Yeah, well, the clothes on my back was one of those things I forgot to consider. Or rather, the LACK of clothing on my back. Yes, I am locked outside my apartment in my little boy shorts that I slept in. 

2. It's wintertime. So not only am I nearly naked in a public space, but it is 35 degrees outside. 

3. Kelsey is gone. So there's no one inside to let me in. 

4. My cell phone is inside the apartment. So calling for aid quickly gets crossed off the #1 spot on my list of options for survival. 

5. I have an indoor cat stuck with me, outside. 'Nuff said there. 

6. My bowels are screaming LIKE CRAZY to use a bathroom. Remember how I mentioned last week that my life has been radically altered for the better because of my recent supplementation with Metamucil? Yeah, well, one of the things about Metamucil is that it works. VERY WELL. Once that puppy kicks in your system, you better hope you have a bathroom nearby.I do not. The nearest restroom is at least a quarter mile away, in the middle of a shopping center.

Best. Morning. Ever.

Next I run through some other possible solutions. One of my neighbors can help me, right? Yes, sure they can. I tell Sheik to stay put by our door, and I begin to knock on neighboring doors to see if someone may have a phone - along with the number for maintenance - to help me out. Yes, I realize it's 7:45 in the morning, so I knock softly. Don't really want to piss anyone off, especially considering that if and when they open their door early in the morning, the first thing they'll find is a nearly naked man on their doorstop.

No one answers, which I'm not particular angry about (after all, how I am I supposed to explain things to them???). No luck there.

The leasing office of my apartment complex doesn't open until 9am, so it looks like I'm going to have to wait it out until I can go get a spare key. I slide down the brick wall, take a seat on the cold tile, and try to get into the most comfortable position one can only do when it's cold out and they don't have any clothes. As Sheik climbs into my lap, I tell her, "Okay, Sheik, here we are." Just seventy minutes to sit here and wait. And hope I don't explode."

Throughout the next seventy minutes I do two things:

1) I try to think of how, once 9:00am arrives, I can walk the quarter mile - shoeless and nearly clothless - over to the leasing office and explain the situation to them, hoping they'll grant me amnesty before a police officer tackles me and drags me off to prison for indecent exposure.

2) I do that weird and awkward wiggle-and-waddle-hunched-over walk people do when they're about to destroy the back of their pants. I wonder how long it's going to take before I run outside and experience, first hand, what the old adage "desperate times call for desperate measures" really means.

Another problem is, I have no watch on me. So I have to guess when it's 8:50am to begin my journey over to the office. I don't want to be out in the open any longer than I have to be.

So I continue to alternate between sitting and standing, replaying the Sliding Filament Theory (Note from Kelsey: this is how nerdy your strength coaches are.) in my head, doing my best to remember the reaction sequence of Glycolysis, and trying to recite Prilepin's Chart by memory. Or, maybe, I just sit there, attempting to warm the tile beneath me, counting the number of bricks on the walls. I can't remember which.

And don't worry, I'll spare you the details of that whole "Metamucil thing" I alluded to earlier. All I'll say is that it was not pleasant.

Here's where things get even more interesting.

At what I can only guess has been the 1-hour mark, I hear a chain jingle behind the door across from me. I immediately perk up, simultaneously filled with both excitement and anxiety as I don't know who's going to walk out from behind the door.

The door swings open, and out walks a professional-looking woman who must be in her low thirties, innocently on her way to work. Upon seeing me, she quickly gasps, widens here eyes, freezes still, and nearly drops her bags at the site of a strange, practically-naked man sitting in the cold abyss in front of her. Here's how the conversation goes down:

Me: (trying to explain as quickly as possible that I'm not some sort of Dionysian rapist) Hiii, umm, I know this looks really weird, but I locked myself out of my apartment over an hour ago trying to rescue my cat. *fervently pointing to cat*

Lady: ......

Me: I'm sorry, I know this looks really sketchy, and I hate to bug you as you leave for work, but is there ANY way I might be able to borrow a phone? *tries to hide under desk, but there's no desk to hide under*

Lady: Oh, sure....sorry, you startled me, that's all. Yeah, here you go. *sets bags down and stands as far from me as possible as she hands me her phone*

Me: Thank you SO much, I really do appreciate it. You don't happen to have the number for maintenance, do you?

Lady: Yeah, I do actually. They don't open until 9:00 though (it's 8:45 at this point), but you can leave them a message.

Me: *begins dialing*

Lady: Hey, uh, I need to get to work, but can I get you a blanket or anything?

Me: Oh, wow, thanks so much, but I'll be okay I think. I don't really want to bother you any more than I already have.

Lady: No really, it's not a problem, it's pretty cold outside, after all. *Begins rummaging through her purse to get her keys*

Lady:.........

............................

Lady: OMG. My......my keys.......what the.....my keys. *hands move faster and she begins to breathe rapidly*

My keys aren't here. I locked them INSIDE MY APARTMENT!!!!

Yep....talk about the odds.

So now we have a business woman, a man in his boy shorts sitting on the tile against a brick wall, and a cat. All locked outside their apartments during a winter morning.

I wish someone had been there to take a photo.

Anyway, I'll wrap all this up. After a while (and some awkward conversation) she eventually wandered off to the maintenance office alone (I didn't have to convince her that I shouldn't go with her) and we made it back inside our respective homes. The bright side of all this is when I eventually made it to the coffee shop, the barista offered to give me a drink on the house after inquiring as to why I was going outside my usual order and requesting the "black eye."

If you somehow made it this far, I give you an internet high five. Nice job! Be back on Monday with the usual content.

How To Perform Warm-Up Sets for Barbell Lifts

The number of times I've seen someone walk up to a bar (in a commercial gym) and just throw on some plates and start benching/squatting/deadlift without any sort of warm-up is more than the number of times Sam and Frodo share a "significant" look during the Lord of the Rings trilogy. 

I cringe inside every time (because of the lack of warm-up and the significant looks). 

I've written before on how to perform a dynamic warm-up before you even touch the bar (HERE and HERE), today we'll clear up how to do so with the bar. 

First thing- know your first working weight. You don't set out on a road trip without a destination in mind, same thing with warming-up: have a destination in mind. The first working weight will also determine, roughly, how many warm-up sets you should have; obviously, the higher the starting weight, the more warm-ups are required.

Next- always do 5-10 reps with just the bar. This coordinates your brain and muscles to prepare to  perform the movement, pump the blood around, and grease the groove of the movement. If the 1,000lb squatters start with the bar, so can you. The deadlift might be the only exception: I personally like to have my first warm-up weighted and pulling from the normal start position.

Now you can start loading plates. Let's take a fairly simple working weight of 200 pounds. Here's what a warm-up sequence could look like: 

135 x 5

165 x 3

185 x 2

First work set

Let's say you're heading a bit higher- 300 pounds:

135 x 5

185 x 3

225 x 2

245 x 2

265 x 1

285 x 1

First work set

Those are just a few samples. There are a few rules to keep in mind that are helpful when deciding your warm-ups:

1.  I've seen some people do 1 rep per warm-up and I've also seen folks rep out 10 reps every set. Neither are ideal. Earlier warm-up sets should have more reps 3-5; the last 2-3 sets (if you have that many) should be single reps.

2. Avoid enormous jumps in weight- the exception would be if it's only the second warm-up set- 50 lbs is probably the biggest jump I'd make at once. Unless you deadlift 500 lbs+, you have no business jumping from 135 to 225.

3.  Speaking of jumps, you should make successively smaller jumps in weight as you approach your first work set. For example, don't make 10 pound jump followed by a 30 pound jump, that's just silly.

4. Use your warm-up sets to "take your temperature," so to speak. If the warm-up sets are feeling heavy and slow, it's probably a good idea to drop your first working set a bit and/or lower the intensity. On the flip side, if your warm-ups feel like their rocket-propelled, then think about increasing your working weight or the intensity of the lift. 

Don't be a fool and skip your warm-up! Choose your warm-up weights based on your first working weight. Aim for at least 2-5 warm-ups, depending on how heavy you're working up to. Avoid large jumps in weight and performing too many reps each warm up set. 

Let's party!

Who Has Cranky Shoulder? How to Train Around Shoulder Pain

I had the opportunity to write another article over at Breaking Muscle. 

Who has a cranky shoulder (or two)? Raise your hand… or don’t if it hurts.

Nearly every athlete or lifter who’s trained for more than a couple years inevitably tweaks a shoulder. Sometimes, if you’re lucky, it hurts for a few days and then it’s gone. If you’re not so lucky, that twinge sticks around for years and you may even carry the hefty label of “shoulder impingement.”

This article will provide you with a few ideas for training around an injured shoulder and potentially even eliminating that twinge over time (depending on the source).

READ MORE...

Anti-Lateral Flexion Core Exercises

We've gone over two core exercises in previous blogs.  Deadbugs, which are mainly an anti-extension exercise that targets our 6-pack and obliques, and the Pallof Press, which we use to develop our anti-rotation strength and stability.

Today, I'll walk you through a few exercises that help us develop our capacity for resisting lateral flexion, or side-bending.

Exercise 1: SA Suitcase Carry

• Key Points: The kettlebell will be held at one side and you'll maintain a perfectly upright posture, not allowing the weight of the bell to pull you into side-bending.  You'll keep the tension in your core, maintaining perfect posture while walking about 20-30 yards.
• To Progress: Add weight to increase the difficulty.
• To Regress: Take out the walking component and perform a static hold with the weight in one hand.  You can increase the difficulty by increasing the weight.

Exercise 2: Side Plank

• Key Points: Keep your shoulder engaged by pressing the ground away with your bottom elbow and staying as long as you can from elbow to top shoulder.  Keep your hips pushed forward by squeezing your glutes and maintain a double-chin to keep your head in line.  Maintain a straight line from the top of your head to the your feet.
• To Progress: Add weight, movement, or elevate your feet in order to increase the difficulty.
• To Regress: Perform a short-lever side plank from your knees (video below), elevate your elbow on a bench, or do both in order to decrease the difficulty of the exercise and make it more manageable.

Exercise 3: Anti-Lateral Flexion Pallof Press

• Key Points: This exercise will help develop your ability to resist lateral flexion and increase your shoulder stability at the same time.  Begin in an athletic position with your hips and knees slightly bent, holding onto a band or cable that is attached to a beam at your side.  Press the band or cable up overhead, maintaining a straight line from head to pelvis, and a rigid core to resist the band's lateral pull.
• To Progress: Step further away from the point of attachment or use a stronger band in order to decrease the difficulty.  You can also mess around with your stance to change the stability requirements.
• To Regress: Step closer to the point of attachment or use a weaker band to make the exercise more manageable.

Exercise 4: Off-Set Deadlift

• Key Points: This exercise is very hard and it's a ton of fun.  If you really want to develop strength in resisting lateral flexion this exercise is a great choice.  You're essentially performing a deadlift with weight on one side of the bar.  Be sure to maintain a neutral spine, hinge at the hips, and use your posterior chain to lift the weight.  Don't let the off-set load cause you to bend laterally.
• To Progress: Add more weight or pull from a deficit!
• To Regress: Elevate the bar slightly to decrease the range-of-motion, or spend more time developing lateral strength and stability using the exercises detailed above!

Throw a few of these exercises in your next program, focus on maintaining a steady progression, and soon you'll have abs like the gentlemen in the picture below!

Two Underrated Progressions for Sprint Mechanics

Poor hip extension, poor alignment, poor rotary stability and over-reaching . These are all VERY common faults in sprint mechanics that are hard to fix with a simple cue. So what do you do when your athletes exhibit any of the listed symptoms? You fill in the gaps with the proper drills. 

The Single-leg rock and the Half-kneeling Knee-lift are two of my favorite drills to throw into a warm up to help alleviate some of the aforementioned flaws. At first they appear to be arbitrary movements, not corresponding with traditional training means. But, when the processes of the movements are taken in you can see how they will have quite an impact on running mechanics or general mobility issues. 

Single Leg Rock Progression

Lumbo-pelvic disassociation, rotary stability and increased joint centration, all rolled into one. This is a great drill that I've started using for many of our athletes who have trouble with unilateral lower-body work. As you can see in the video, it has many different benefits and really drives home reflexive hip stability.  

Half-kneeling Knee Lift Progression

This is great for teaching hip extension, anterior core stability, proper alignment and even coordinating the sequencing of them all together (though I accidentally swing my arms wrong in the video... no one's perfect, don't judge me). It's also east to progress as you can see in the video.  

Athlete Spotlight: Brian Eckert

Name: Brian Eckert
Age: 18
High School: James Madison High School
College: Radford
Sport/Position: Baseball/Left Handed Pitcher
Pitches: 88MPH Fastball, Slider, Curveball
Favorite Lift: Deadlift (you can see him pull an easy 350# right here)
Fun Fact: Brian is also an avid surfer.
Accomplishments:
          - 23-1 Career record at Madison
          - First Team All Conference
          - First Team All Region
          - First Team All State
          - First Team All-Met

On paper, a job as a strength and conditioning coach seems like the perfect position.  You're given the responsibility of wearing gym shorts all day and allowed to parade around a weight room working with highly driven athletes who want nothing more than to crush the day's lifts.  However, this isn't always the case.  Sometimes you're dealt kids who simply don't believe in strength training and the carryover it can have on performance, or just don't care. Fortunately for us, Brian Eckert is not one of them.

Brian has been training consistently with us for about 3 years now.  This state champion pitcher is the type of kid who shows up at the gym with intensity ready to train and perfect the days lifts.  He listens to every detail you present him with, and not passively either.  He'll digest the information and come back at you with a question.  It's these little things that make him as successful as he's been over his high school career.  His high school team, James Madison, won the 6A Virginia State Title this past year and Brian was named First-Team All-Met by the Washington Post.

 The awesome thing is, as serious as he comes across in training, Brian is pretty laid back when it really comes down to it.  He's the type of kid you can carry on a conversation and joke around with during his training session, and then he'll flip that switch as soon as it's his turn to deadlift.  He'll be pitching for Radford University as an incoming freshmen next year and the staff here at SAPT can't wait to watch him succeed on the mound.  Good luck next year, Brian.  We'll be cheering for you!